I’m dedicating this article to my soul sister, Nadine. This past year was a very challenging year health wise and when I was meeting with my woman’s group in late September, I mentioned that I wasn’t sure how I could write a positive reflection this year as I was finding it hard to come up with something positive that happened to me. Nadine told me that knowing me as she did, I would find a way. I began reflecting on her words and looking at things with new eyes and am ever so grateful for her kinds words that really sent me on a very different journey.
In February 2022, I experienced a severe health event where I lost a tremendous amount of blood. In the past I have been sick, but I’ve bounced back quite rapidly. I expected I would do the same thing this time, but the Universe had another plan for me. It decided my recovery was not going to be spontaneous. I spent the next 10 months having one health event after another. I had more testing done this past year than I had in the previous 10 years or more. I underwent 3 iron infusions, a CT abdominal scan with contrasting dye. I’ve had a kidney ultrasound and one on my legs. I’ve had a dobbler test and monthly blood test. I’ve had gout that lasted over 8 weeks, landed in Emergency, underwent a bone marrow biopsy. Still dealing with an infection in my legs that caused cellulitis. It was one event after another. I’ve had more contact with my G.P. this year than ever before. I was referred to an internal medicine specialist and a hematologist. I’ve had a few melt-downs and pity parties and for the first time in my life I was really worried I might not survive all of this.
I chose to change my focus after that breakfast in late September and to really look at what this year has taught me and for all the things, I am truly grateful to have experienced. I learned that I can still be strong and ask for help and that people are there for me without any hesitation. My friend, Meg, not only took me to the Emergency, she stayed with me from 9:30 p.m. until I was released at 5:00 a.m. I told her she could go home, but she refused to leave me alone. I asked her to take me for my bone marrow biopsy and she re-arranged her schedule to help me out. My friend Neena, checked up on me daily during my most stressful times and she’s always been there as my own private nurse to help me understand all that was happening to me. She helped me take my condition much more seriously than I was doing. I have the most amazing G.P. who never discounted any of my symptoms. She listened and was so supportive and always made me feel heard and understood. She diagnosed my condition back in April, but it took until October before I was seen by the hematologist. It was my G.P. who listened and tried her best to provide me with great care and understanding, never hesitating to send me for testing or referrals. One of her referrals was to the wound clinic where I was given excellent care and great consul of how to treat my sore legs.
My Soul Sisters also kept close watch on how I was doing both physically and emotionally. They provided me with support and wisdom and true caring. My best friend, Debbie, in Edmonton listened to my tears and helped by providing support, understanding and validation. She’s always been there for me in all of the darkest moments in my life. I truly am lucky to have all of these wonderful people who care. My family may have abandoned me and don’t seem to care about me any more, but these friends have shown me that I am truly valued and loved.
Work has been so supportive. It was what kept me going. I’ve been so lucky since covid to be able to work from home. Some days it was truly an effort to make it from my bedroom to my desk, but I did it and it helped change my focus from how sick I was as I had a job that needed to get done. I was able to adapt my work hours to my energy levels each day. Some days I had to go back to bed and crash as I didn’t have the energy to focus on what needed to be done. I was able to work later and finish my work according to my energy levels. Everyone there was always checking up to see how I was doing and were very supportive.
I’ve learned to be patient with myself and not to have such high expectations. I’ve learned to be accepting of what is out of my control being a control freak this was certainly a challenge. My meditation practice which is so strong and ongoing has been so influential in how I’ve dealt with everything this year. Being calm and accepting things has helped me survive. I truly feel that I am a stronger happier person for all that I have experienced in this past year. I’ve learned the true value of friendship and that if you ask for help you will receive it without any strings or subsequent demands. I am filled with gratitude.
I have no idea what the Universe has in store for me next year. I am hoping it’s not the intense roller coaster of 2022, but whatever It decides I need to learn I will embrace the challenge and grow, after all who ever said life was supposed to be easy. As long as I am able to take a breath, I will look forward to expanding myself and becoming a better person. Thanks to everyone who is coming with me on this wonderful journey I love you all more than words can ever express.
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